Because that's the thing. People aren't pieces in the puzzle of your life that you can pick and force into corners they weren't supposed to be in. It was like finding the perfect corner piece for the upper right side, but not having any of other hundred pieces needed to connect that perfect corner to the left half of your slowly-constructed puzzle.
It all comes down to timing.
One of my friends in her mid-twenties said during a phone conversation, 'I really like him and I think he really likes me, and we have a great connection, but we're both about to move elsewhere. The timing's awful...so I don't think anything will happen. But he's the guy that, if we met up again in five years and we're both still single, I'd marry him.'
I've been thinking about it a lot. About how there's this fear of running out of time. Of finding something - or someone - wonderful and not having enough time together.
Act now, my mind whispers. If you don't, you'll lose this chance forever.
Your time is running out.
But I don't control other people. They're not chess pieces or pieces in my puzzle. They have lives and hopes and dreams and plans of their own...and maybe I'm not a part of that. Maybe my puzzle doesn't look like their puzzle.
Just because I think I've found a perfect puzzle piece, one that makes sense and makes my picture complete, doesn't mean I have to grab it now. It doesn't mean it's mine.
'I'll see you in the future
when we're older
and we are full of stories to be told
cross my heart and hope to die
I'll see you with your laughter lines'
Because timing's a funny thing. And if you're very quiet and still...and listen carefully and honestly, you can hear when it's off, even just a little bit.
You can meet the right person, be at the right place, have the right job offer...and it might not be the right time. It's hard to put it into words because it's not easily discernible or explainable.
But life isn't full of dramatic running through airports to catch planes or professions of love right before someone moves away. Choosing not to say anything right now does not close off a future conversation.
You never know what will happen, what the future will bring. But you can know and accept and understand when the timing isn't right.
And the world doesn't end. If anything, it's a little bit sweeter. Because the only thing holding you back is time. Not a lack of emotions, or fear, or rejection.
Just the quiet knowledge of...it's not the right time.