Thursday, August 6, 2015

It's Okay to Feel Broken


Broken - it's a scary word. We don't like it...and we like assigning it to ourselves even less. But guess what this wide world full of optimism and cheer and positive Pins doesn't tell you?

Girl, you will feel broken so many times in your life.

And I want you, need you to know that. it. is. okay to feel broken. Because you are an incredibly complex, breathing mass of emotions and thoughts and humanity. And that means sometimes life dashes us down and for a moment, we can't breathe because the waves keep coming and by heaven, they get rougher and rougher and it is so hard to keep swimming.

A little blue fish once told the world to: 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming.' But even the most valiant of us can only try for so long.

So this is me telling you that it's okay to stop swimming sometimes. Not that it's a good thing that any of us like...but rather, it's an undeniable fact of life.

We. are. human.

And that means sometimes we can't go on, that we run out of steam, and all we have strength for is to curl up somewhere hidden and dark to cry tears we didn't even know we had. This is me telling you I see you. I know, because I've been there too. Tossed high and plunged deep beneath icy waters that stole my breath and my bearing to finally resurface, exhausted and disoriented and completely utterly lost.

Sometimes, you have to just let it all go and stop fighting the current - sometimes you have to whisper 'I don't have the strength' and just float...float where the waves take you. even if it feels like you're trying desperately to hold the pieces of yourself together. It's okay, girl. There are and will be moments in life where you have to drive yourself to an empty parking lot to break down in tears, or hide under your bed or in your closet, shut away from the daylight and eyes, because sometimes you need to cry and cry.

Sometimes it will feel like there a million different pieces of you that have been dashed apart by someone or something and it's terrifying because you don't know how to put yourself back together.

Girl, I see you. And I'm hurting for and with you. Because this thing called Life is unbearably hard and no one ever tells you that growing up, and 'broken' is a label we give to things that have culminated into a horrible crash of failure and wrongness.

And we think it's a one time thing, being broken.

But no one ever tells you that broken is what we all are, from the moment we're born. And there's a wild beauty in that, a hopeful grace, because if we're all broken to begin with, then these moments of not being able to swim or breathe or even feel God?

That's okay. That's normal.

Because it means being "broken" doesn't mean there's something wrong with me or you - that we're the few defects of society, the unhappy one in our group of friends, the sole black sheep in our families.

It means that we can admit, again and again, 'I am broken...I can't do this on my own. I need Something. I need Someone....I need You, God.'

 So girl, next time you feel broken...know that you are not alone. And there is hope and beauty in brokenness. We find the sacred, the defining moments, the sweetness of Him in the brokenness.

We are remade, stronger and clearer and better

2 comments:

  1. Amen sister, I completely agree. There is hope and beauty in brokenness! In fact, like a muscle, our lives must be broken down to be built up bigger and stronger than before. The comfort is that while the Lord doesn't promise to keep us out of trails, he does promise to be with us every step of the way granting us the Grace we need to enjoy Him through every situation.

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  2. Girl, I needed this so, so much. Thanks for writing such beautiful + encouraging things. <3

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'lo!

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