These past two weeks really hit it home for me that I need to make self-care a huge priority. I knew that was one of my year goals coming into 2015, but I didn't realize how I actually need to change my schedule/life to implement more time for me as a person.
After almost 22 years, I'm finally realizing that I don't need to be doing it all. I'm someone who loves being busy and balancing number plates - but I don't need to do it to the point of stretching myself too thin. I'm taking 18 hours this semester, working part-time, on a leadership team for a huge college retreat my church is putting on, and trying to stay involved in my dorm community.
I pushed through the first three weeks of school before accepting that I would only make myself miserable, and just because I was doing 20 different things didn't mean I had to keep doing them.
So after talking to a couple close friends and a lengthy phone call with my mother, I decided to make the best desicion for me. I let my boss know I needed to take that semester off from work - which was terrifying because there are a million ways to justify working, but I need to concentrate on my real full-time job of being a student. And I'm looking into dropping a class that I don't need for my degree plan. I'm even coming to peace with the idea that because I'm not in the Honors program (and it's a bit late to join at this point and still try to graduate on time), I won't get to write a thesis. I really want to write a thesis, friends. I have a creative fiction novel that's been kicking around in my head for years...but I'm learning to let go. And say no, to one thing at a time.
I turn 22 on Sunday, and I'm feeling at peace with my desicions...for the first time I feel like I'm starting to look at my life from an adult perspective in deciding when and where I commit myself. It feels good.