Restless. It's a good word for how I feel.
It's 2014, but for whatever reason, I feel as if time has frozen...as if I won't be returning to school...as if the days are running together in a stream, undifferentiated by names of days like Monday or Wednesday...
I'm not sure what it is. I think it's because the holidays were so crazy that I didn't get a chance to mentally and physically prepare for the start of a new year. I love new beginnings - everything fresh, like starting over. A time of newness, of change, of decisions. But somehow, I'm in that odd half-step right before the brand new step into a fresh year and month.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's there...
Thoughts, words, plans, hopes are all moving within me, trying to settle. But I'm not ready yet.
And yet, despite all my misgiving, I know once I'm back at school, I'll be able to move again, time will start again, and I'll take that step forward because I have to.
Everyone's posting about their plans for the new year and their excitement for 2014. I'm excited for what the entire year will bring overall...but there's still a restlessness and trepidation for these next few months to come.
It might partly be a combination of nerves - this will be a big semester in terms of juggling things - a bit of worrying, and maybe even an early case of winter blues. I felt a little down on occasion last winter, which had never happened to me...but that just might be part of my personality. I'm a very extroverted, outgoing person, and winter brings out my introverted side. And by that, I mean I get quieter, not as outgoing on certain days, and just more pensive. I do not mean to imply that introverts by nature are usually "down." That's just how I've realized I occasionally react to winter.
Now, all this is not to say I don't have goals and plans for 2014. That's another post, but I will share that I'm keeping it simple with my big goals. I have 3-4 important ones as well as a good smattering of smaller ones. I'm on the lookout for a good planner, which will help, I suspect, as soon as I get it in my hands. I'm a huge planner, list, and notebook person. Something about writing things down on paper makes them more real to me!
I thought I'd share what's been on my mind lately, in case there's any of you out there that find yourself not quite as excited this January as others are. :)
May you have a lovely, restful week - and if you've already started school, may you have a lovely semester!