Entrusted with So Much

Friday, July 12, 2013

It is late...

I am typing, my fingers moving over keys slick and dark as ebony...forming words about my Modest Monday posts, explaing why I dress the way I do...how I do my best to dress for God. To dress with God's standards.

And then somehow I am led to Ann's blog, which is dear and familiar...and drink in her words with her beautiful music, and then...

Then I find Katie's blog. The humble yet profound writing of a beautiful 24 year-old woman who moved to Uganda after graduating homeschool high school. Uganda, where she is now the mother to 13 adopted children.

Where she daily pours out the love of Christ. And washes His poor, whether it is their dusty feet with clean water...or their dusty hearts with His saving grace and Word.

And I am reminded...we are entrusted with so much.

I am entrusted with so much. 

I am blessed beyond belief to attend a university, to continue my persuit of knowledge. To have a family that loves and supports me. Friends that encourage me. A faith community that stretches across the world - one that is universal.

And I am left humbled and breathless with how much God has entrusted to me. 

I am the eldest of six children - and whether I realize it or not, I am the living example of how they should be, how they should interact with my parents, with others, with the world. If I fail, they will think it is all right for them to fail also. If I speak in haste or anger, they will feel comfortable speaking in haste or anger. Because if the oldest child does and does, why should the younger ones not?

After all...don't we all learn by imitation?

I am entrusted with so much.

I am returning to college as a sophmore, as an experienced and older student. One to whom freshmen will turn worried eyes and ask where this or that building is, ask if they will fail their first test, or what to do when something heart-gripping comes up and they cannot go to their parents for help because they are at college and learning independance the hard way...and because home is far away.

I am entrusted with the hearts that will live alongside of me in my hall - the girls who I will see on a daily basis, cry, laugh, study, worry, and breathe the same air with. I am there to serve. To support. To be their shoulder to cry on. Their safe. Their home away from home. To be the love of Christ to them.

I am entrusted with so much. 

I am a writer - both through blogging, fiction, and academically. I write because of the God-placed urge on my heart: the urge to share, to encourage, to create beauty...to glorify Him. And I can use my gift for His good. Whether it's Modest Monday, posts like these where I share my heart, or fictional scenes where characters fight for goodness and truth and love, I have a responsibility and task as a writer. I have a voice, a gift, an ability to share.

I am entrusted with so much.

I am a member of my church community at college - I am part of the family that rejoices and grieves and prays with each other on a weekly and even daily basis. I have been Awakened and am now a part of a family within a family, charged with a purpose to pray and love my fellow brother and sister students who have not yet made the Awakening retreat...who have not yet experienced God's earthshattering, barrier-breaking love that floods one's soul during that very special weekend.

More than that, I am a witness for my beloved Faith - for my identity as a Roman Catholic, for my very being - on a Baptist campus. I - like all of us - a modern-day Apostle...a Christian who is scrutinized carefully and critically. My behavior, my appearance, my very personality, and my speech both unintentionally and intentionally shape others' perception of the Catholic Faith, of the living breathing Catholic Church. Of my God - our God. The God who is everyone's God. Everything I say and do is a reflection of Him, even when I am tired and not thinking about it. The very way I live my life speaks or doesn't speak of Him.

I am entrusted with so much. 

I am simultaniously awed, overcome with emotion, filled with joy, daunted at the responsibility, and so afraid I cannot accomplish all that I have been entrusted with.

I am not the Son of Man. I cannot do it all. I cannot save the world. 

But, I was not made to. WE were not made to.

Here in the quiet, as I type with a heart full and an ache deep within, all I know - all that is my living, breathing reality - is that God did not make us to be Him. He made us to be like Him. To love unconditionally - to love and serve those in our lives...to shine for Him. He made each of us capable for what He has entrusted us with.

And then...and then, friends...when each of us loves and serves and carries out what we have been entrusted with, we make a difference in the lives around us.

And those lives, and each of our lives, bound up and caught in the messy place we call 'Home' between Heaven and Hell - they come together and form something beautiful. If we each try and continue each day, even on the days when we are exhausted and broken down, that love grows and abounds like nothing else in this universe.

And we're breathless at God's might and majesty, because we are all so unflinchingly aware of our failings and our messiness and our cracks. We're not a perfect people. We are not perfect Children. But oh, we are the Children that He loves. We are the Children He has chosen - and entrusted with great things and many hearts.

Because the beautiful thing is, when we make a difference in others' hearts, in their lives, each of our efforts are added together....and one by one, whether child or adult, senior or teenager, priest or college student....

Together we change the world. Not alone.

That is not what we were entrusted with. That is what One Man was entrusted with.

And because He loved and because He served, he changed the world forever. He changed us. Changed us with His Blood, His Body, His saving grace.

And we pour it back out to one another, that life-giving water of grace and life. We're all parched - we're all feeling drained and dry. We all need life-giving love. We have God's love - His heavenly grace.

The rest  - the earthly manifestation of our Creator's flood of love - starts with you and me.

With what we have been entrusted with. 


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Clare. Hope all is well with you! <3

  2. Love it. We are entrusted with so much.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Megan - so good to "see" you on here in the blogsphere!