Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine



I've started post after post...begun typing, feeling that I should be full of words to say. Especially after an absence, after this silence. But each time, my fingers falter and the words fade away...and I am left with a blank white screen before me.

To have nothing to say is a rare occurance for me. And yet, here I am.

Typing away, unsure what will spill out. Unsure if there is anything to spill out.

Silence gives one pause + time to think. Do my words matter? What do I have to offer? Am I only painting a picture of cheer and smiles and pink and all things bright + colorful? Am I growing beyond that? 

I'm no longer the young girl who began this blog so many years ago - exuberant and buoyant and wide-eyed. Whose world was made up of fantasy stories, books, and innocent dreams of childhood. But my world is larger now. It no longer simply encompasses the boundaries of my bedroom and the safety of home. The world stretches and widens and horizons glimmer with the unknown.

Only now, some of it is known. Time goes on and years pass. As your world expands, so too does your soul. Everything leaves its mark, causes it to grow: love, discipline, trials, fear, change, and even loss.

It is awe-inspiring and overwhelming to realize that one's world never completely settles. It's always changing, always expanding, always reverberating with something - whether it's truth, pain, or love. In many ways, the silence has been good for me. In many more ways, something is urging me to remain in the silence.

To stay and listen - be.

A distant voice whispers, 'But you should write...update.'

But for the first time in a long time, I'm not listening. I did not begin this blog for fame or profit or hundreds of followers. I know the secrets to success - post constantly, update readers, find your niche and fill it.

But I think I've forgotten why I began this blog. I think many of us have...we started writing to share, to pour out from ourselves the words and thoughts and beauty that we found in every day life. To share the glimmers and glimpses of sunshine. This isn't a hardened, jaded post to say that I am through with blogging, that it has become too industrialized.

This is me saying that I've been living in the shadows and sunshine. And it's hard to always share that...because sometimes, we're not supposed to share everything with everyone. Sometimes we need to go through growth, through seasons, through changes. And only afterwards can we look back and see what took place.

We don't know we've grown until we already have.

And I'm growing. Again. In a different, deeper, more painful and sweeter way than before. But I'm learning, I think, that I will always experience growth.

And so when the voice whispers, 'you should post,' I whisper back, 'it's not time yet.'

I'm aware that this is a jumble of words and thoughts; I've struggled with finding words for a post for some time...a few nights ago, I was able to attend Switchfoot's last concert of their Fading West tour. And that night - as they played, as Jon Foreman sung with his entire soul and being, as the hundreds of souls in that room were lit by the beauty of music - something shook loose inside of me.

And one of the last songs they played lingered in the air, full of joy and art and the unspeakable expression of human emotion that is music. And I understood more than I did before.

The shadow proves the sunshine.  

Monday, October 27, 2014

A Little Break



Hello, friends - I never thought I'd be writing this type of post, but the urge has been there for the past week and it's only fair to update you.

I'm not sure why, but I've been in a bit of a funk about the blog...it started a few weeks ago and I tried to brush it off. Told myself I was just busy, just getting caught up in statistics and the pressure of blogging, etc. But every time I went to post something, I ended up staring at the white screen and feeling like I don't have much to offer. This semester has been a whirl of tasks and to-dos and then there's just plain Life in between all that.

So I need to take a step back...and take a little break. I think some time to recharge and focus on what I need to get done in my day-to-day life will be best. Rest assured, My Spare Oom isn't going anywhere - nor is this a goodbye forever. It might be a week, it might be a couple...I'm not sure.

This is me just saying simply, and honestly, I need a break.

See you sometime soon, friends. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Tuesday Things (Where I've Been Online)

Hello, friends - popping in to share some links today. I've been quite busy, not only in real life with classes and work, but also online it seems! One friend commented in real life, "I see blog post after blog post popping up on Facebook," and I'm blessed to be able to contribute to some great sites...including wonderful Catholic ones!

Here's where I've been lately:

talked about skirt inspiration for fall fashion over on the St. Peter's blog

shared about the hard seasons in life + why they're not a bad thing on The Catholic Young Woman

and collaborated with Erin of Uniquely Erin for a fashion photoshoot. I loved photographing her!

Happy Tuesday, friends and I'll see you tomorrow! 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Real Life Wednesday


1. I started off this gloriously chilly October morning with a pumpkin bagel + pumpkin cream cheese + an iced pumpkin latte. I know, I'm obnoxious. But I still love it.

2. My mum trimmed my hair last week when she was in town (she's cut my brothers' hair for years and us girls finally let her touch our hair) and it feels so good to have healthy ends - I've learned it's especially important to keep it up with dyed hair, like my ombre ends.

3. Since my love of pumpkins reigns supreme, I adored The Clothes Horse's pumpkin patch outfit post...which definitely put mine to shame. But she's so cute and pixyish that I don't mind.

4. I've been looking quite different from my usual self - partly because my hair's been pin-straight for the past three days and partly because I got new glasses. !!! I'm a fan - and apparently they don't look horrible because all my friends keep commenting on them.

5. Can't stop playing this song - can we talk about how lovely classical music elements sound in modern songs? Kudos, Clean Bandit. Kudos. Also, Bohemian Rhapsody is my "walk to class" jam. <3 mamma="" mia="" miaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.="" p="">
6. Love and relationships is something we all like to talk/read about: Amanda's post on love sweetening over time, Clare's post about motherhood being like a sunrise, and (if you don't mind bit of European language) Garance Dore's post about the mythical "Perfect Man."

7. Let's talk fashion. I love hats year-round, but something about fall makes them so effortless to incorporate into a daily outfit. As always, the ever-foxy Caitlin is on point with her style - and her last Fly Friday is no exception. Homegirl knows how to rock that hat. Love that redhead!

8. I posted over on The Catholic Woman about a topic near and dear to my heart - being single. Specifically Why You're Not Any Less of a Person if You Haven't Dated.

9. I'm famously stubborn (it's a bit of a family tendency), so it's very easy for me to say I'm open to God's Will...but actually letting Him enact it is another story. Hannah put it perfectly - we're scared to let God change us. But her post is a beautiful reminder that we need to let Him do what it takes to make us His gold.

10. Fall break starts on Friday and the. excitement. is. real. There will be so much sleep + studying this weekend. And I can't wait.

As always, following Jess for RLW - happy Wednesday, peeps! Do you rock hats? What's your favorite jam lately?
 

Monday, October 13, 2014

Modest Monday: Falling into Fall



Helllllllo, friends! This past weekend was glorious because it was so chilly and today is a perfect October day with bright blue skies, blustery winds, and the excitement of Fall Break right around the corner.

So today's Modest Monday post is also perfectly themed...pumpkins + black! Click over to the St. Peter's blog to see more! My obsession with all things pumpkin is as strong as my summer obsession with all things coconut - my ma and little brother were in town for the weekend so we romped in a sea of orange. 'Twas wonderful.

I just finished two midterms, a quiz, and work, so I'm off to class now. Here's to a lovely Monday!

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

'Bout That Wednesday, 'Bout That Wednesday

 
image via

1. If you haven't head Meghan Trainor's song "All About That Base," fix that pronto. It's so catchy and fun...and let's be honest, I'm a fan of any song about being proud of one's curves + booty.

2. I told my suitemate the other morning that if we couldn't have three day weekends, I wish we could at least have a day off in the middle of the school week - like Wednesday, for example. Then we both agreed it would never happen because the majority of college students (sadly) would use it as an excuse to get drunk midweek. Sigh. Problems....

3. On the topic of school, one of my best friends is in England for grad school...and her first week of classes sounds amazing. I actually told her I'm planning on dropping out of undergrad and moving to England asap. First name basis with professors? Studying in pubs? Eating chips in class? Yes, please.

4. If I was a better blogger who had my life together, I'd be participating in the 31 Days series where you blog every day in October. But I don't, so I'm not. Last October, I wrote 31 Days to Living a Grace-filled Life and while I loved every minute, blogging everyday while in the middle of a full semester, working, and being involved in church resulted in  some serious burn out.

This time around, I'm making the call that as much as I'd love to participate, I really need to focus on school and not stretch myself too thin. But I'd highly encourage you to check out Bailey Jean's "Savor Your Season" series and Rachel's posts on "Simplicity" - they are both such wonderful, uplifting writers!

5. I need this shirt. And this one...which would be worn. ever. morning.

6. You guys...I cannot handle Grace's kids (sidenote: how are there so many Graces in the blogsphere?? I know/read the blogs of at least four o.0). But seriously, I'm obsessed with Theo who is white-blonde, adorable, and so cute it makes my heart break and my ovaries go into overdrive.

...TMI? Maybe. But it's a real problem, y'all. Every time she posts pics of her kids, I go through my "Let's drop out of college NOW and just have babies! ALL THE BABIES" phase.

Granted, I kind of need a guy first. And by guy, I mean husband. Who's okay with kids now and even more okay with letting dress them hipster with tiny beanies and wee pants. #cantstopwontstop

Hi, I'm Grace K and I have a problem.

7. I've finally started pinning seriously to my Falling for Fall board...cool weather, I'm ready for you.

8. This is my mindset when it comes to the opposite sex now. It took me so long to reach that point. but I firmly believe it now. I refuse to compete - you either like me or you don't. I'm done with trying to "make" a guy interested in me. Amen forever and ever.

How's your week going, friends? Are you blogging every day in October? What song have you had on repeat lately?



Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Real Life Wednesday


1. You guys, my mom is coming - the excitement is through the roof! (I'm also officially 37 and an old lady who likes staying in on Friday nights, dreams of naps, and whose highlight of today will be the madre arriving. I spent all of freshman year and most of sophomore year being super independant  + happy with it...but I just feel old now. So naturally, I want my mom. Heh.

2. Gettin' real with y'all: literally hours after I snapped the pics for my dorm room post, it looked like a hurricane had hit our room. Or at least my side of it. I am one of those crazy people who loves to be organized and has a certain place for everything.....but then will allow things to get messy because I have no time to clean. Then at some point, it becomes unbearable and I put the room in order from top to bottom.

That ain't happening this week, folks. Ain't nobody got time for that.

3. I'm loving this smokey nudes eye make-up tutorial...yesterday, I wore nude eyeshadow and toooooons of black eyeliner. It was a fun change from my usual brown smokey eye, which is pretty similar to Carrie's tutorial. Also, Zoella released her beauty product line! So happy for her.

4. So many exciting collaborations around the web - I mentioned on Instagram that Caitlin + I had done a Lana Del Rey inspired photoshoot. It went like a dream in an enormous concert hall and Caitlin is one of my favorite models - ever. She's absolutely wonderful at following my directions "Turn your head to the side! Just raise it an inch - no, not that way...yes, now look at me - but just with your eyes!" Anyways, definitely go check out her post. She looks gorgeous! Her Strikes My Fancy post is also excellent.

Aaaaaaaaand Monday was actually the return of Modest Monday! I was a bad blogger and wasn't able to get an announcement post up in time, but I'm honored to be hosting Modest Mondays over at the St. Peter's Catholic Student Center blog. Rachel, the lovely lady behind the scenes, is a great friend and suggested the idea. I think it's a great fit and am excited for future posts. I'm hoping to continue style posts on here, but for now, Modest Monday will take place here!